Learning

"I am always doing what I cannot do in order that I may learn how to do it." - Pablo Picasso


This is an idea that I struggle with all the time. I am always trying to avoid the things I can't do, thinking if I can't do it now I will never be able to do it. Picasso's statement is exactly how God is trying to teach me to live my life. But like the normal me, I am being stubborn. I seem to expect to be a professional at things I have never done. No one needs to tell me that this doesn't make sense. Professionals get to where they are through hard work and perseverance. The thing is, I never want to actually put the work in. I want the results without the process. I guess the way society functions these days has influenced what I expect. Things come quickly and that is how it should be. Waiting too long for the things I want just seems unnecessary.

What God is telling me is different. He is telling me to be patient. He is telling me to put in the hard work. He is telling me to persevere through things even though they don't come naturally. He has people around me telling me this. But I seem to not want to listen to any of them. My stubborn pride is getting in the way.

It seems so hard to give things to God but I guess I haven't made the decision to truly give God everything. I don't know what it means to give Him everything but I think that it is something I can learn. It isn't easy and I am constantly trying to run away from the work but God keeps pulling me back. Even while I am kicking and screaming. He just wont give up on me and neither will the people He has surrounded me will. I get angry that people wont give up on me. I am also grateful at the same time.

So many times it seems impossible to persevere. I feel like I just can't handle it any more. The struggle is too hard to bare. Today is one of those days. One of those days when I want to quit and walk away. But I have been told that the same issues will keep coming up unless I deal with them. I don't want to believe that but maybe they are right.

I am so grateful for the people God has put around me. Even if I get upset with them.

This year I am learning what it means to trust in God and to persevere.

A Great Realization

I have been thinking how I really miss science. I thought I would have to choose between ministry and science. I couldn't do both things at the same time. It just didn't seem possible. Then came a thought. I spent the weekend at my mom's house. I loved it out there (despite the swelling throat from seasonal allergies). Nature is where I find my refreshment. A place where I can't hear the hussle and bussle of city/town life is where I want to be. Back to what I was saying... Nature is the place where I really feel connected with God.
Right now I am involved with ministry. I enjoy seeing people changed by God. But how do I combined the outdoors and science with ministry? Can that even be done? Two things I am torn between. These are the questions I have been wrestling with for some months now.

The thing about life is you can be interested in different things. I always thought that what ever my passion was would be my career. If I love science then that is where I should go for a job. Ministry is nothing that I was planning for. It is just something I kinda fell into. It wasn't necessarily my passion. So how could I reconsile this conflict?

This brings me back to what I learned the other day. I can do both. Ministry is what I am doing. I love seeing people grow in Christ. Their excitement gives me encouragement. It can be a draining thing though so I need to say connected with God. It so happens that I know exactly how I feel the most connected with God, through nature. It seems so obvious but it took me a few years to figure out. It doesn't matter where I am or what I am doing. Nature and science will always be part of my life. My passion can be my hobby and my second passion can be my job. I don't know if it will always be that way but for now this is the path that I am on. I might change where I am headed but that is a matter for another day.

For now I can learn more about nature. I can take time studying its beauty and how it reflects God's care and love. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders to realize that ministry doesn't have to be my whole life and that I can focus on the creation.

Most Delicious!!!!

AJ and I found the recipe for making as Orange Julius at home. We love it so I thought I would share. It came from Paul Mayne's blog at http://paulmayne.org/blog/2005/10/orange-julius-recipe/. But with a tweak or 2.


6 oz. frozen orange juice concentrate
1 cup milk
1 cup water1/4 cup granular sugar
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
8-9 ice cubes


1. Combine all ingredients except ice cubes in blender.

2. Blend for about 1-2 minutes, adding ice cubes one at a time.'

It is so good! Try it!

Fall is Almost Here

The first day of fall isn't until Sept 23 but I am getting excited about the approaching change of season. I have a passion and a love for the world that was created for us to enjoy. Its so amazing how God created the trees! As the days get shorter and the air becomes cooler, the trees absorb less light which slows down the production of chlorophyll, the stuff that makes leaves look green. This allows for the other colors in the leaves to become visible. How exciting it is to see such a wide range of colors (It is more complicated than that but I can explain that another day). The fall also brings so many other AMAZING things: pumpkin pie, leaf piles, cozy sweatshirts, ginger,pumpkin spice, apple picking, hot apple cider, apple pie, pumpkin carving, family meals, hiking, and warm fires in the fire place. I love the flavors of fall. Along with the refreshing coolness of the air. There are just so many thing I can't seem to write it all out. If I would have to choose, there is one thing I like in this world, GOD'S creation. The only thing that makes me more excited than nature is seeing people's eyes opened to the glory of God. If I wasn't starting on staff with InterVarsity I would want to be some sort of nature guide. That would be so much fun!! I can't believe I turned down the opportunity to interview for a naturalist job in the black hills. I would jump at the chance now.

When I am out in the wilderness, I feel the closest to God. That is where I feel the most energized and excited. There is no denying that!